The Rise of Wurst
by OrangeHue
Summary: All Germany wanted to do was sleep. All Italy wanted to do was eat. But nothing could ever be that easy with Prussia and friends. Warning: there is crack, and there is Prussia. Enough said.


Germany sat at his desk, completely rapped up in his work as Italy rolled around of the floor, blabbing about pasta and things of that sort. He was just about to finish and turn in for the night, when Italy started whining about being hungry.

Germany contemplated just ignoring the Italian and going to bed, when he realized that Italy would probably sneak into his bed and whine all night if he wasn't taken care of. Considering Germany liked to sleep, he decided to feed the Italian something easy, quick, and something he could snack on as well.

He got up from his desk, Italy in toe, and put some wurst into the microwave. He sat back with a sigh and watch as Italy pranced around the microwave, being…Italy. Italy squealed as the contraption dinged and Germany went to retrieve its contents. Unfortunately, right as he was setting down the wursts, the door to the kitchen burst open.

There, in the door way, stood the bad touch trio, plus a drunk butler England*.

"BRUDER WEST, YOU WILL NOW SEE THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY AWESOMENESS! BOW DOWN TO YOU HIGH AND MIGHTY BETTER HALF! *insert self righteous laughter here* "

"AHHH! It's England! Protect me Germany!"

"Yo ho, yo ho, a Pirates life for me!"**

"Alright, alright I get it already!"

It had only been a few seconds and Germany could already feel his massive migraine. He need his brother and his ridiculous friends gone, other wise he was in danger of dying via brain hemorrhage. Acting purely on instinct, Germany grabbed the thing nearest him and threw them at his bother.

These things where wursts.

They flew through the air, and from a strange twist of fate, landed directly in Prussia's eyes.

"AHH! WEST! WHAT DID YOU DO!! I'M BLIIIIIND!!" Prussia then proceeded to flail around, blinded, and run straight into a wall, knocking himself unconscious. There was a beat of silence before everyone burst out into peels of laughter, save Germany and Italy. Germany, taking advantage of the distraction, began wailing wursts at the aggressors.

"Get out of my house!"

The remaining enemies scrabbled for safety, confused by the on slot of meat. Italy, who had been cowering behind Germany, decided to help. He quickly scrabbled to the fridge and grabbed a plate of leftover pasta. He looked at it longingly, not wanting it to go to waste.

_No, I can't! I have to help, it's for Germany!_

So, with passionate tears in his eyes and a battle cry of "VE~!", he began whipping pasta at the enemy. Under the hail of wursts a pasta, France suffered the casualty of being blinded by pasta. With a scream of "I'm to sexy to die!" he clung to Spain, who was repeatedly getting hit in the head with wursts.

"England! Do something!"

But England was to preoccupied with poking Prussia with a stick to do anything.

Spain, the only rational person left, decided that they had no chance of wining, grabbed England and Prussia, and made a hasty retreat.

With the kitchen stained with there toils of war, Germany gave himself a brief moment to bask in the glory of victory.

Italy latched on to Germany's arm, bouncing up and down.

"Ve, ve, Germany, we did it! We won! And I helped!"

Germany looked down and fondly patted the little Italian on the head.

"Yes, you did a very good job helping. Now lets go to bed."

And, with the nights excitement Italy's hunger forgotten, they headed off to bed.

From that day forward, Germany always carried a pack of wursts next to his pistol.

* * *

**Oh yeah, I so went there. And I don't regret it.**

***- I think we all know what kind of "butler" outfit England wears.**

****- England is just singing that song to piss Spain off, It was a spurr of the moment thing. **

**This lovely little baby was born via conversation between Neko Syaoran and I. So partial credit goes to her for this cracktasic idea! (German burders, unite!) **

**If you review, I promise candy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own. I am to stupid to image such a great manga!  
**


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